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Abercrombie Fizzwidget
A. Fizzwidget 'or ''Dr. Fizzwidget ''is a fat fucking retarded dumbass who commits self cannibalism every time he is hungry. ''Going Commando '''Main Story ''(Alternate Universe)'' Abercrombie Fizzwidget is a fat fucker in the Bustin Galaxy. He was a galaxy-renowned genius, and was also known to eat his customers alive. He may be the leader of the galaxy due to Megacorp's enormous sphere of influence across the galaxy. When one of his company's products - the Protopet - was discovered to have a key defect which caused it to become violent and eat its feces, he gave trevor, who worked in the genetics division, the task of fixing its flaws. Later, Captain Qwark, desperate to regain his former celebrity status after his previous humiliation at the hands of Ratchet and Clank, locked Fizzwidget in a supply closet and assumed the latter's identity, recruiting Ratchet & Clank 's heroic duo to retrieve the pile of fucking shit from FROG.Despite FROG’S best efforts, the pile of rotten shit fell into the real Fizzwidget's hands, and thousands of civilians fell victim to Fizzwidgets feces when it was released onto the market. However Ratchet, Clank and Angela eventually defeated the original Protopet, apprehended Qwark, and used Angela's Helix-o-Morph to tame every Protopet in the galaxy. Fizzwidget was then finally freed, and he ate Ratchet and Clank for all their work. He continued to provide the duo technological support afterwards. He then self cannibalized himself to death. Secret Post Credits Scene There is a secret post credits scene where Fizzwidget is standing in a black void smiling at the screen but Wario appears from offscreen and rips Fizzwidget's stomach open and eats all of his guts then throws up stomach acid all over him and rips his head clean off. Fizzwidget then grows back from his head and tears his arm off and snaps wario's jaw off and they beat eachother to death as the screen slowly goes red. If you proceed back to the title screen of the game, Fizzwigdet will be hanging from a noose in a dark room and the title of the game will say, "Ratchet and Clank: Killing a Fat Fucker." ''Fan-Fiction'' Background Fizzwidget is known for his insane behavior and being so stupid. This then sets him up for numerous stories and adventures that can be created and are real. Below are a few memorable moments: Brawls One time I hosted a talk show with Fizzwidget and Wario. Fizzwidget began by talking about how fat he is, but wario got pissed because he thinks hes fatter and deserves more awards. Next they revealed what they like to eat. Wario screamed "GARLIC S U R P R I S E" at the top of his lungs and the crowd gasped. Then fizzwidget, smiling, said that his favorite food is himself and ate him finger in one bite. The crowd cheered and screamed "WE LOVE YOU FIZZWIDGET, FIZZWIDGET IS AMAZING HE IS THE COOLEST PERSON IN THE WORLD!!" Wario got so fucking pissed off that he dived straight at fizzwidget and blew the wall down while screaming "I HATE YOU FIZZWIDGET I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH I WILL KILL YOOOOUUUUU!!!" Fizzwidget got up and said "Hey man, just a joke. Where my car?" Wario smiled and pointed to his stomach. Fizzwidget screamed "NOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE YOU ATE MY CAR YOU FUCKING ATE IT YOU RUINED MY LIIIIIIFFFEEEEE!!!!!!!" Fizzwidget tore his arm off and did a quintuple backflip in the air and performed a helm splitter on Wario with his own severed arm. Wario, stunned, fell backwards and took a massive beating from fizzwidget. Fizzwidget said "I HOPE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON YOU SON OF A BITCH." and walked away. But Wario got up and ran at him at the speed of light, turning both him and fizzwidget into a 666 course meal. Francis then ran out of the auditorium and ate the food and exploded into guts and stomach acid, killing every living cell in the universe. ONE DAY FIZZWIDGET WAS SO HAPPY AND SO EXCITED HE WENT TO GODLEN CORRAL TO FEAST. HE ATE THE WHOLE BUFFET IN 666 NANOSECONDS, BUT HE WANTED MORE! FIZZWIDGET STARTED TO EAT THE TABLES AND THE CHAIRS. HE TELEPORTED TO THE KITCHEN WHERE HE THREW A FAT EMPLOYEE INTO THE DEEP FRYER AND ATE HIM. HE THEN WENT TO THE DEEP FRYER AND DRANK ALL OF THE LIQUID. FIZZWIDGET WAS SO HAPPY FOR ONE MILLENIUM AND HE SPENT THE WHOLE TIME RESTING HIS EYES AND LETTING HIS FOOD DIGEST. AFTER THE LONG MILLENIUM, FIZZWIDGET STOOD UP AND REALIZED THAT HE NEEDED TO RELEASE FECES. HE GOT UP AND RAN TO THE BATHRROM EVEN THOUGH HE WAS SO FAT HE MOVED SLOWLY. HE KILLED 666 PEOPLE TRYING TO GET TO THE BATHROOM. WHEN HE GOT IN THERE, HE SAT DOWN AND WENT. HIS SHIT WAS PURE BROWN AND BLACK WITH LIQUID SHIT STREAMING DOWN HIS ASSHOLE. IT TOOK SO LONG TO WIPE THAT HE WAS RELIEVED WHEN HE GOT OFF. BUT FIZZWIDGET SHAT SO HARD THAT HIS COLON FELL OUT AND WHEN HE FLUSHED THE TOILET, IT SUCKED HIS COLON ANS GE WENR OUT OF CONTROL. FIZZWIDGETS BODY STARTED SLAMMING AGAINST THE WALL WITH BLOOD STAINS SPRAYING. HE THEN LANDED HIS FACE IN THE TOOLET WITH BLACK SHIT. HE WAS SO DISGUSTED THAT HE THREW UP SO HARD THAT HIS ENTIRE BODY TURNED INSIDE OUT AND HE EXPLODED IN DISGUST. ALL OF THR STOMACH ACID THAT CAME OUT OF HIS BODY SPRAYED AND IT WEBT EVERYWHERE! IT DEVOURED THE RESTAURANT AND IN 1 NANOSECOND THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE WAS COVERED IN MOLTEN SHIT INFESTED STOMACH ACID. One time a police officer was investigating Fizzwidgets car under local suspicion of a quintuple shotgun being ILLEGALLY CONCEALED within the vehicle. Fizzwidget came outside and said "Take one step closer to my car and I'm gonna KILL YOU." The cop said "FREEZE YOU SON OF A BITCH YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR MULTIPLE ACCOUNTS OF CHILD MOLESTATION, LOITERING, BRANDISHING, HOMICIDE, KIDNAPPING, MANSLAUGHTER, POSSESSION AND DISTRIBUTION OF "MEDICAL MARIJUANA", TAX EVASION, TAX FRAUD, RAPE, SLAVERY, GRAND THEFT, TERRORISM, TREASON, ASSAULT, ARSON, ARMED ROBBERY, POACHING, CANNIBALISM, SELF CANNIBALISM, ACID ATTACK, TORTURE, CHILD NEGLECT, ANIMAL FIGHTING, AND WAR. IF YOU SIR, TAKE ONE STEP, THERE WILL NOT BE A SINGLE DROP OF BLOOD LEFT." *Hundreds of tanks and choppers begin to close in on FIZZIDGET. It was looking like the end for fizzwidget, but he wasnt going to give up that easily. Fizzwidget did a quintuple frontflip and landed on the top of the world trade center. He slammed his stomach against the roof and the whole building came crashing down, creating another 9/11. Fizzwidget was now officially done. Why the fuck he thought that was a good idea to do right now, god only knows. The cop screamed "FIRE" and the tanks and choppers opened fire on fizzwidget and left a 666x911 mile crater. Fizzwidget was launched all the way to paris and got impaled on the eiffel tower. Wario was currently fighting a war in Iran, but when he heard the news, he used all his garlic power to teleport to the eiffel tower to have one final brawl to make sure his arch nemesis was dead. Fizzwidget got up and said "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!!" Wario ripped his jaw off and threw it like a boomerang at fizzwidget and knocked him off the eiffel tower and he smashed into a massive pile of guts and blood at the bottom. He revitalized himself but wario took the opportunity to build a massive cannon. He and fizzwidget fought to the death until wario was missing an eye and his left testicle and fizzwidget was down to the B O N E. Wario was hell bent on destroying fizzwidget once and for all. he grabbed fizzwidget and threw him into the cannon and shot him into the sun, but fizzwidget implanted a piece of metal inside of wario during the brawl and he used magnesis to carry him with him. Wario was so fucking pissed that he screamed "YOU FUCKING STUBBORN JACKASS WHY CANT YOU JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY YOU PIECE OF SHIT." They were fighting in space when francis heard what fizzwidget did on the news and knew what had to be done. Fizzwidget was his best friend of all time, but he had to kill him. Francis called a homing air strike to follow the next gen xbox that fizzwidget implanted into his brain so he could play xbox in his M I N D. Fizzwidget got blown into a quintillion tiny space bits and wario got blown back to America. Wario won thousands of awards and nobel peace prizes and was titled "Hero of the Millenium", "True Avenger of 9/11", and "Preventer of the Second Holocaust". Then they found out his criminal record of shootings in multiple movie theaters during movies with black protagonists. He was burned at the stakes and shot into the sky with fizzwidget. Fizzwidget's dust became stars overnight, but they were so bright that they made every living thing gouge their own eyes out and bleed to death the end. ''Species'' It is unknown what Fizzwidget's species is, although Qwark, Al, and Fizzwidget are the same species. Description: #Three Fingers #Tend to have a big build #Big Chin #Elbows points out #Hands are often expressed in a suprised mode, even though they're not. #one or two antennae #Cat Ears #Very, very F A T legs #FAILIURE IN LIFE #Self cannibalistic #Morbidly obese #SOOOOOO COOOOOOL #Excessive blood and stomach acid levels #Fizzwidget caused 911. So it is known that in the next game, it needs ''to be revealed, (if there is one), or it needs to be locked in to the Insomniac Personnnel. ''Theory Multiverse The Multiverse is a hypothetical group of multiple universes. The main premise is that there can exist multiple universes co-existing with each other at the same point in time, but with different outcomes and conclusions. This relates to Fizzwidget because there exists multiple stories where Fizzwidget would die, all living cells would die, or even the entire universe was destroyed. This then creates a possible explanation on how Fizzwidget "comes back" in no time. Personality The most controversial part of Fizzwidget would have to be his personality. As many believe he has superior intelligence and prioritizes innovation, he is also conveyed to others as fat fucking idiot, that is completely useless, with no common sense what so ever. Examples range from creating brilliant technology that could change the future, all the way to distorted beliefs such as thinking clothes can’t be taken off once put on. Nevertheless, everyone can agree Fizzwidget is a complete stubborn jackass. He heavily relies on what he thinks is logically correct and never thinks about anyone else’s feelings. Proof can be found from the “Brawls” section, in which he would bear the ever lasting shit out of someone for simple mistakes, and have the need to “teach someone a lesson.” ''Trivia'' Crimes *Though evidence seems to be destroyed every time, FIZZWIDGET has been accused of thousands of acts of Child Molestation and Kidnapping. *Fizzwidget has been caught and has received many death threats, several times, for loitering around fast food restaurants from 12 am to 6 am when he is begging for the fast food restaurants to open because he is starving. *He has a secretary named Ms. Bluebottom. *On the last day before his retirement, he brutally murdered his secretary, Ms. Bluebottom, and ate all of the remains. Her guts were found in the sewers because fizzwidget fucked up his digestive system because he forced it to digest itself one time, resulting in permanent damage. References *His name is a parody of Abercrombie and Fitch, a popular clothes line. *He has a car that appears in Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate. It is a cheap piece of shit that only goes around in circles, has a shotgun cannon, and can shoot a crazt fat blackass. *He resembles a Stygian Zinogre *He has an status skill in Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate where your defense is multiplied by 1.2 billion, but your health is reduced to zero, making it utterly useless. *His arch nemesis is Wario because he had a rumble with him after FIZZWIDGET showed off his self-cannibalistic skills at a talk show. *He frequently purchases new houses because he ate all of his old ones in his sleep. Preferences *His favorite gaming console is Xbox. *He has shit his pants several times. *He likes his steak raw. *His favorite color is his skin color because he gets to eat what’s underneath it. *Every night, he goes home and eats a whole pizza. *His favorite part of his body to eat are his fingers because they are the fastest to consume. *His favorite movies are Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead, Tremors: a Cold Day in Hell, Monty Python: the Meaning of Life, Street Trash, Norm of the North, The Nutty Professor, Pinocchio, Brother Bear, Garbage Pail Kids, Super Mario Bros., Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Shrek, and of course Ratchet and Clank: the Movie *His favorite TV shows are “My 666 Billion Pound Life” and “Diners, Dives, and Drive Ins.” *He eats a whole pizza every day Other *He used to have a pet black bear, but one day it was being hunted. The bear clawed up a tree to find safety, but he lost his grip and fell 50 feet towards the grounds on his back, instantly killing him. *He knew Norm of the North as a cub. *He had to be brought back to life on the operating table after he fell off a plane and was impaled in the stomach off the tip of the Eiffel Tower. *He is known to frequently tear his head off for no apparent reason to create of blood fountain. *He is somewhat immortal, as he can instantly grow back from a single cell. *One time he wanted to pull a prank on wario, so he asked francis to kill him and only leave a gallon of blood and to let it sink into the core of the earth so he can regrow in the center of the earth, causing massive worldwide earthquakes. Much to Fizzwidget's dismay, everybody but Wario died including his best friend francis. ''Gallery''